A strange day
by Spiral Daydreams
Summary: Itachi and Kisame finish their mission with time to spare, and to the festival in a nearby village. When Itachi is set up with the lovly Ritsu Sohma, what will happen when Itachi think Ritsu is actually a girl? How Long can Ritsu last in the bar? Edited!


Itachi is most likely OOC as is Mr. Ritsu Sohma. If your un familiar with him, he is a cross-dressing male, who cross dresses to calm his nerves and when hugged by a girl, turns into the monkey from the zodiac legend. He is from Fruits Basket. He's also originally straight. Don't own either naruto or fruits basket.

Itachi's POV

It had been a long day. A really long day. Me and Kisame had to murder this girl, I thing her name was Amera or something. I really don't remember, its usually Kisame who remembers these things, cause personally, if I kill the right person, I won't have to remember their name since there dead. So, the assianation went off without a hitch, leaving us the rest of the day to do whatever we wanted. We were a day ahead of schedule, and if we return early, we get more missions. So we passed through this random town(again, names of towns mean as little to me as the names of people I kill.) having a festival, so we decided to hang around for a bit. We went to a bar had a few drinks, and relaxed… or at least I would have, except for the fact that Kisame got himself totally drunk, and I had to stop him from plummeting off of the bar stool… Seven times. Yes, I counted, because I was getting bored. Then, it happened. Oh, and the recently repressed memories fly back so well too…

_OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG…_

"_Ya know, Itachi, You really need to get laid…" Kisame slurred. _

"_If you can find a pretty girl, then fine." I muttered. _(Interrupting Flash back: _Never EVER let a drunk friend pick a girl for you. EVER. Got it?_)

_Ten minutes later… _

"_Person number 3..." Kisame drawled out. " Third times the charm, y'know Tachi?" _

"_Yes, you said that when it actually _was_ the third person.." I breath out to myself, not even looking up to avoid what was for sure another hideous excuse for a woman._

" _Presenting…" He hesitated, asking the girl her name. "Presenting Miss Ritsu Sohma! Ta-dah!" _

_I looked up, seeing a beautiful woman. She was wearing a beautiful, though modest pink kimono, and had very nice brownish-orange hair. She looked rather unsettled, though, as though something was bothering her. Maybe the random drunk guy who dragged her out of her seat. The one I'm pretending not to know for the rest of the night, since he's downright humiliating when drunk. _

"_Would you like to sit down? Maybe a drink?" I offered. Oh god, I was almost drooling, which is why I don't drink often. I lose most control over my self, and suck at hiding my emotions. _

"_Um… I don't really- but before the beauty could finish, Kisame pushed her in the seat and frolicked off. That's right. Frolicked off. I have never seen a more gruesome, disturbing sight in my life, and I killed my own family…_

_End Flash back_

_Chibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibichibixchibichibichibichibi _

But anyways forgetting that now. Again. I have a pretty woman with me, and I can't let that ruin me. "Well, my name is Itachi. Is something wrong? You look a little bothered by something."

" Well actually-"

" But any problem you have, don't worry. I'm sure we can work around it." I thought for a second. " Unless you have an STD or something, cause if you do, then I'm not spending time with you anymore…" I said, almost sulking. The pretty girl was probably worried about that. Oh but it's nice that she's trying to warn me, and good for her too, cause pretty not, I would kill her if I ended up with AIDS or something.

"It's not that, it's just I'm sorry!" She cried out.

"What for? I'm here so don't worry… Your safe…"

Ritsu's POV 

Oh my god. He a drunk ninja. He too drunk too see that I'm a guy! Gawd, he has to be so pretty too… but that doesn't matter! I'M SOO SORRY THIS HAD TO HAPPEN!! WHY DO I LOOK SO MUCH LIKE A GIRL!? OR ARE THE JUST THAT DRUNK?! I'M SORRY FOR LOOKING LIKE A WOMAN!! No, calm yourself, deep breathing. Calm down, this is just a dream… Oh god, he's touching my thigh, this isn't a dream, he's going to find out I'm a guy, and he'll kill me for sure. I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I'M TOO YOUNG STILL!! FORGIVE ME!

" I-itachi…" I mumble softly, shaking. I have to do this now, or he'll be angrier, and he might kill me more painfully… Good-bye world, Mom, Tohru… " I-I'm a guy." There. I said it with out losing control.

" But your too pretty to be a guy…" he mumbles drunkenly. " And anyways, your wearing a kimono…" He starts kissing my neck.

"I-I…" I can't take it anymore! I have to resort to the whisper shout. I lightly shove him off of me and whisper in his ear " I'M SOO SORRY!Cross-dressing calms my nerves, but I never meant to be mistaken for a woman! May all the gods strike me down a punishment! I tried to tell you but you and your friend kept cutting me off and I'M SOOO SORRY!" I ran. I just ran out of the bar like the woman he thought I was. I ran past all of the happy festival-going people, until the crowd finally thinned. I ran until I came to an abandoned ally, and started crying.

Itachi's POV(again) 

That beauty… that wonderful woman was actually a guy? I still want to spend the night with her…um, I mean him. I got up. I briefly wondered if I should tell Kisame that I was leaving, but he was too busy making a complete ass of himself break dancing. Badly. So I just sort of left to look for her him. While I my be a drunk shinobi, I am a shinobi none the less. So it took me like what, ten minutes to track her him down and get to her(ha, got it right that time.)

"Hey Ritsu." I say, not really sure what else to say.

" Itachi, I'm sorry that you thought that I was a woman… I just didn't get a chance to clear thing up earlier, and I really like you…" Ritsu muttered.

" I really like you too, even if you're a guy. So how about it? Would you like to go out with me? I asked hopefully. _Please…_

"S-sure." Ritsu said, wiping a tear from his eyes. I helped Ritsu up, and we walk walked off to the festival, both a little tipsy, but all in all, happy.

Kisame's POV

I watched them chuckling, remembering something from my childhood.

" What's so funny?" asked the attractive boy I found at the bar with my kick ass break dancing moves, my manly charm, and of course, my sexy smile.

" I just remembered a song from when I was little. Want to hear it Shigure?"

He shrugged. "Sure." he said nonchalantly. Damn, he's so hot when he does that!

I flashed my sexy smile, and began to sing.

" All around the Mulberry bush,

The monkey chased the weasel.

The monkey stopped to pull up it's socks,

POP! Goes the weasel!"

And my date laughed his ass off. Ya I'm definitely getting laid tonight.

Not that you really care, but Amera is a girl in my school. Can sense the hostility, no, since she dies?

Ja Ne Ai… or would it be Ja Ai Ne? Whatever. Later love!

Kisa (or Kitsune, whichever you prefer)


End file.
